Casual Confidence

As you may remember I have been back in the dating game since about March after the end of a long and important relationship in October.  I waited six months before even attempting to date and it has taken me a while to find my groove.  

Out of the dating gate I met a very nice young man through an online dating service.  He had a car, a house and a dog.  He also had the best job ever – he made ice cream.  And not just any ice cream.  Hagen Daas ice cream.  My friends thought that this reason alone made him a good catch, and I didn’t disagree.  He was friendly, and pleasant, always respectful and kind.  Unfortunately, in the end he was also very intense and was moving WAY too quickly for me.  So, after about 6 weeks I had to end it.

Around this time my friend Amanda “set me up” with a friend of hers.  He was tall and handsome.  He played sports and loved children.  I knew he was younger than me but wasn’t sure exactly how much younger.  I am OK with dating a younger man, but I do have some limits.  So, when his birthday rolled around shortly after our third date I decided to ask.  As it happens he was 10 years! younger than me.  10 years!  I am sure I gasped when he told me.  Shortly thereafter we stopped dating and my friend Amanda was fired from any future matchmaking duties.

The next guy I dated was the exact opposite of Ice Cream guy.  He was friendly enough but very reserved and clearly was holding back emotionally.  We had 5 or 6 dates and the only physical contact we had was an awkward pat-on-the-back hug at the end of each date.  While I don’t expect my dates to ravage me like a romance novel character, I do expect some affectionate touching so I know you are interested.  After a month or so I decided I had to end this short-lived relationship too.

After 3 failed attempts at establishing a solid relationship my confidence was waning and I was worried that I had lost all of my flirting skills during my last monogamous relationship and I might not get them back.  It was official, I had lost my mojo.  This was a horrible realization for me.  I used to be an expert flirt.  Meeting men was never this difficult when I was in my 20s.  Was I getting to old, to fat, too desperate?  GAH!

So, I took a break from dating for a while and just decided to not push things too much.  Maybe I was being too proactive.  Maybe a laid back approach might be better.  I had recently realized that one of my issues with meeting men was that I was always out with guy friends.  And, as much as I love them, they put a serious cramp in my game when they are around.  So, last week, some girl friends from work and I (Kate, Jessica and Tiffany – best wing women ever!) decided to have a girls night out on the town. 

Girls night out was a HUGE success.  I decided to take my friend’s advice and approach things a little differently this time around.  Usually I am the girl in the heels and the skirt, full makeup and jewellery, nails done and ready to rock.  Apparently, this can be a little intimidating or overwhelming for guys.  They like to keep things simple.  So, this time out I wore flats (flats!!!  I never wear flats out!), jeans and a simple tank top.  I wore almost no makeup and only a simple necklace to jazz things up a bit. 

 

And you know what?  It worked.  It turns out Kate and Jess were right.  Considering one of them is married and one of them is in a 5 year committed relationship I guess they probably know what they are talking about.  I felt confident and relaxed and soon enough I was striking up a conversation with a very handsome guy.  Now, the most exciting part of this story (well, it was exciting for me!) was that this very handsome guy actually ASKED FOR MY NUMBER!  Usually, I am the one who takes the initiative to ask for numbers but he beat me to it, which was awesome.  And, not only did he ask for my number he also specifically asked to meet up at an event a few days later.  I was all smiles on the way home and I may have fist bumped my girl friend Kate.  That right, fist bump.  I did meet up with this very hot man a few days later and it looks like an official date is in our immediate future.

So, the moral of the story?  Casual and relaxed confidence beats dolled up fake coolness any day of the week

Mad Men is Good for My Body Image?!

I love Mad Men.  More specifically, I love Christine Hendricks.  She is the most beautiful women on television.  Her character Joan is sexy and stylish and smart AND she is around a size 10.  No not a size 0 a size ten.  My basic google researching skills have uncovered that although her bra size is a little bigger than mine we are about the same size and have similar measurements.  This is an amazing revelation for me.  

I have never been the petite girl.  At almost 5'9 tall it is impossible to be petite.  Even in high school when I was at my thinnest (20lbs less than I am now) I still had curves.  Like most women I have days that I feel fat or ugly but for a long time I was always confident with my curves.  Unfortunately, my most recent long term relationship did a number on my confidence.  I never felt pretty enough or skinny enough or fit enough with my last partner. 

Now, just over 6 months since we ended our relationship I finally seem to be reclaiming my body and my beauty.  I have gained a little weight but I am trying to embrace my curves this time, not fight them.  Sure, I could work out more, eat less ice cream or train to run a marathon but none of these things would make me happy or make me feel better about who I am.  I am learning to accept myself as I am and only then will I be able to make any lasting changes. 

I by no means think that embracing your body is an excuse to get fat and eat junk food, but I do think the depriving yourself of all the foods that you love and wasting all your free time at the gym is never going to make anybody happy.  I would much rather have a glass of wine on Girls Night then have to spend an hour on the treadmill.  That is who I am, that is what makes me happiest on the inside.  I know that I eat healthy 80% of the time, I am not worried about my health. 

Learning to be the best version of yourself is hard, really hard...but I am giving it a shot.

My New TOMs

Yay for Toms.  Being Canadian means we have been a little bit slow picking up on new trends and sadly Toms Shoes fall int this category.  If you are not familiar with the unique concept behind this company let me explain.  It pretty simple really - for every pair of shoes you buy Toms will send a pair of shoes to a child in need.  How awesome is that?!?  Think about it, there is a child walking around with brand new shoes because you bought yourself a pair of super cute kicks.  A child that may not have had a pair of shoes.  Yay for Toms. 

I finally took the plunge and bought myself my very first pair.  I am not always keen on ordering clothing or shoes online in case they don't fit and I don't want to deal with the hassle of having to return them.  But, I took a chance and order some very cute red cord Toms and....well... am in love.  They are super cute and beyond comfortable.  I wore them to work this week and felt like I was wearing slippers.  for someone who typically wears 3 inch heels or the Toms were a welcome vacation for my feet.

(please try to ignore the very white thick ankles above...try to focus on the shoes)

I am very tempted to buy these in other colours and fabrics.  There are so many colours and fabrics to choose from.  There are even glittery ones!  I love me some shiny shoes!  I am sure I will be wearing these all the time now. 

Can you think of another organization that has a similar charitable focus?  If so give them some love and leave their link in the comments. 

Christmas Keeps on Giving

While Christmas day has come and gone already it still feels like the Holidays in the PBG household.  For the first time in years I decided not to do any official boxing week shopping.  The crowds are too much and the "sales" often last well into January.  Besides, I am trying to declutter my life so I am making only purchases that I love rather than purchases that I think I like. 

However, there were a few MAJOR purchase made online on Christmas day and boxing day.  Two very exciting purchases.  The first exciting purchase was a new Canon Rebel T2i DSLR camera.  I have been working with my Fujitsu point and shoot for a few years and it has taken some great pictures.  But, now that I am blogging and taking my photography much more seriously I really wanted a camera that would last me a long time.  I ordered it online from the Future Shop and it should be arriving today or tomorrow.  Woo hoo!

The second very exciting purchase is a Kitchen Aid stand up mixer.  The was such a great deal I couldn't pass it up.  Typically this unit sells for around $450 but with the Boxing Day discounts it only cost $199!!  It is chrome and I have already cleared a spot on my counter for this lovely beast.  I AM SO EXCITED!  The Kitchen Aid stand up mixer has been kind of a holy grail in my family for years but no one could ever justify the cost.  But, I was finally ready to take the plunge.

I can guarantee these two big purchases will result in more pictures and more baking on PBG.  I am so excited to start using both items.  They should be arriving either today or tomorrow.  I keep looking for the mail truck like a little kid waiting for Santa. 

I did make a short tip to the mall yesterday and found myself at the Gap.  I am trying to "think outside the box" with my wardrobe these days.  Buy a few things I might not normally wear.  There was 40% off everything that was already on sale so I got both pieces for just under $50.  yay!  I am planning to wear the outfit with opaque black tights and the retro black pumps I bought to wear to my holiday party.  Cute....I hope. 

Are you a boxing week shopper?  Do you find yourself doing more online shopping these days to avoid the crowds?