I love Mad Men. More specifically, I love Christine Hendricks. She is the most beautiful women on television. Her character Joan is sexy and stylish and smart AND she is around a size 10. No not a size 0 a size ten. My basic google researching skills have uncovered that although her bra size is a little bigger than mine we are about the same size and have similar measurements. This is an amazing revelation for me.
I have never been the petite girl. At almost 5'9 tall it is impossible to be petite. Even in high school when I was at my thinnest (20lbs less than I am now) I still had curves. Like most women I have days that I feel fat or ugly but for a long time I was always confident with my curves. Unfortunately, my most recent long term relationship did a number on my confidence. I never felt pretty enough or skinny enough or fit enough with my last partner.
Now, just over 6 months since we ended our relationship I finally seem to be reclaiming my body and my beauty. I have gained a little weight but I am trying to embrace my curves this time, not fight them. Sure, I could work out more, eat less ice cream or train to run a marathon but none of these things would make me happy or make me feel better about who I am. I am learning to accept myself as I am and only then will I be able to make any lasting changes.
I by no means think that embracing your body is an excuse to get fat and eat junk food, but I do think the depriving yourself of all the foods that you love and wasting all your free time at the gym is never going to make anybody happy. I would much rather have a glass of wine on Girls Night then have to spend an hour on the treadmill. That is who I am, that is what makes me happiest on the inside. I know that I eat healthy 80% of the time, I am not worried about my health.
Learning to be the best version of yourself is hard, really hard...but I am giving it a shot.